Jesus, Are You There? Its Me, Billie.

Today I went with my producer Evan Bellam and Camera man/filmmaker Theo Skudra to meet with pastor Elio Marrocco  at the New Life Christian Church.  He was a little nervous at first and was not sure he wanted to be filmed.  I assured him that although the cameras were necessary, if after we spoke, he did not want to be a part of the documentary we wouldn’t use any of the footage.  That’s the tough part about making a doc in general, especially about this topic.  Its understanding that people of faith – especially Jesus – are weary of the media because most filmmakers take advantage of people in order to entertain others at their expense.  But that’s not my style, I assured Elio.

Billie Mintz - Director

Theo Skudra - Camera/Filmmaker

Evan Bellam - Producer

 That is why I think I am doing what I am doing.  I’m making a film about and for faith.  I’m not out to alienate people for believing in something.  I seek further understanding into this phenomenon of God, something that up until now I have taken at face value and accepted (or not accepted) just because of the way I was raised.  I didn't question whether or not I believed, I always just assumed I never really new and was fine without looking further into that.

At 37, I am ready to make a decision about my beliefs and either strengthen my connection with God or resolve to live a life with any further concern of the subject.  I’m not out to prove that God does not exist, I’m out to investigate my beliefs.  I hope to have a richer faith by the time I am through.  Its not just for making a film:  I need it now.

Elio must have liked my vibe because he asked me flat out – before I let the cameras roll – what’s the point?  It was a direct question that needed a direct answer and it flowed out of me as if I was meant to do this.

“I’m on a journey and I am looking for spiritual guidance.”  Is what I answered.  “But most of all, I want to bridge the gap of understanding between those who believe and those who do not believe.  I think there is a great division between the two camps and I think I am the person, representing those who don’t believe to get further understanding without judgment from those who do believe.”  I’m like a translator – I take what sounds crazy and deliver it in sound bites that others can handle.

Elio was impressed with my openness and directness and agreed to go forward with the interview.

Pastor Elio Marrocco

It was a good talk.  I really liked Elio.  I felt good things from him and he was happy to have a Jew in his church to talk about God and Jesus and himself.  He actually kept touching my arm and said “the more I see a Jew the more real God is”.  He talked a bit about my role as a Jew, my history and how we fit into his belief system.  To tell you the truth, it was at this moment, that I actually felt more like a Jew than any other moment in my life.  Not even at my Bar Mitzvah.  It took me going to a church to talk to a pastor about Jesus to actually have an authentic Jewish experience.  I’m not sure what that means but I bet I will know more soon.   He was very appreciative of my openness.  This wonderful 60 year old man who looked 40 from years of Joy was acknowledging me and my journey.  He said I was a true agnostic.  I was admitting that I did not know but I was seeking.  He also said that if I truly choose to investigate God, God will reveal himself.  I asked him, how do I truly investigate God.  He said – you are already doing it.   He gave me a prayer and told me to use it.  I have never prayed to Jesus before, and I am not sure I am ready to try that.  He also gave me his book and even signed it.

What I received most out of this talk was when I asked him “what if you are wrong?’  You built this whole life around a concept, and base everything you know on something invisible.

Elio didn’t flinch – he just smiled and said “it might not be but it doesn’t matter.  I have a beautiful life – a beautiful wife, a family and a great community”

I understood exactly what he meant.  He gave me some great direction and I am sure that is not the last I will see of Elio.